the conversations in my head
at night
are so much more vivid
than the ones I watch happen from a distance
from the corner I have chosen to wallow in
to rewind the time and rethink, rephrase
this is what I meant
this is what I wanted to say
this is how I feel
do you see?
the dizzying sensation
of everything moving around me at full speed
at all times
while I sit still and wonder
am I here at all
do you see me, really
too afraid of the answer
to even dream of asking
© coldscars